My Unscripted Life

I haven’t seen many of my friends lately. While I may have missed seeing some of my friends for a few weeks, there are some that I have not seen for many years. I hope they will all realise that although I may not always be there physically, that I am always with them in spirit. You guys are always on my mind. Although I may be caught up in life sometimes, you are always in my thoughts, and in my heart.

Don’t stop inspiring me.

Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side

Me
I’m the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
I’m so sorry that I’m falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Don’t let me fall out of love

Running, running
As fast as we can
I really hope you make it
(Do you think we’ll make it?)
We’re running
Keep holding my hand
It’s so we don’t get separated

Be
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don’t stop inspiring me
Sometimes it’s hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don’t make me want to give up

I had this running joke among my colleagues. “Never ask a Mass Comm student to do Maths. Especially mental (congak) maths! Why’d you think we joined this course. It’s because we are allergic to maths!”

Kas cannot illustrate this better.

Being all grown up puts into perspective the stuff that you went through as a teenager. I wish as I could say that I was only a teenager last year. But being 24, that was a good 4 years ago. Yikes!

I didn’t have that much going on when I was a teenager when it came to boys. Except for Baby, I never really had a boyfriend. But like any other normal girl in highschool, I’ve had my own share of ups and downs when it came to boys.

I think I’ve always been a romantic person…but a pragmatic one. Oxymoron, I know, but there it is. I could make up all sorts of things in my head, but when it came down to it, I knew this guy or that guy just wasn’t the one for me, because we had hardly anything in common. Teenagers don’t usually think of that. They just look for the most physically attractive one, and hone in.

I used to stay up till late at night, making up conversations, writing poetry, planning when to “bump” into him. And then, when it all doesn’t work out, I’d just curl up in bed, and listen to the soppiest of songs, and immerse myself in tears.

Kid stuff…I know.

But now and then, one of those soppy songs gets played on the radio, and for some inexplicable reason, it takes me back to that vulnerable state, when boys broke your heart, and people can be mean. It’s been years since all those has happened, and I guess I’ve grown a rather thick skin.

But there’s something about certain songs that just transports you back. I mean, how many people can listen to Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” and not reflect on that first time someone dumped you. For me, that song has always been this song. Faith Hill’s “Let me let go”.

It’s been a long time since I last updated my blog. I’m not sure if I had many people who followed my blog in the first place then, but I am sure, no one visits this little space of mine any longer.

It’s been a very hectic few months since I’ve been engaged. Apart from being busy at work, I’ve also been busy scouring places, looking for ideas and bargains. Weddings are few and far between in my family, far different from Baby, whose family has a wedding every other weekend. It’s a totally new experience for us, and mostly, it’s rather daunting as well.

I’ve been so busy looking for the best caterers, the perfect dress, the right colour scheme, the prefect shoes and every other small detail for the wedding that I have not really thought about the prospect of actually GETTING married.

In my head, I keep imagining sweet beginnings, and embarking on this great adventure with my best friend. But at the same time, I cannot also ignore the vast responsibility that will be upon us the day the solemnisation ceremony is complete.

For some reason, few people in today’s world view marriage as sacred. Many sully it with affairs and others just fall by the wayside, and everything ends in some messy separation. Marriage is like the vow that can be broken and renewed with someone else.

Although I have always been precocious as a child, I am acutely aware at how young we will be by the time we will be married. The economic crises isn’t helping to alleviate this worry either.

Amidst all my doubts and worries, I also can’t help but feel so blessed to be able to marry my best friend. In the end, that’s all that matters I suppose. Call it blind faith…