My Unscripted Life

Yet another chapter of my life ends…

The realisation hit, not as I took my scroll from the pro-chancellor,

Neither was it when I checked for my final results.

It was three months ago, when I visited the campus to settle some outstanding fines which would have prevented me to graduate. I took a day’s leave from work, and headed off to campus one clear Monday morning.

It greeted me as I entered the front gate.

UiTM Hak Org Melayu?

I could feel the shame creeping up to me. The realisation of where I have graduated from. What symbol it stood for. What it still stands for today.

I’ve said my peace on how I feel about it. But it still didn’t help that so many more feel the need to protect their rights. Rights which should belong to everyone. The right towards education.

I had a choice then, as I stood stunned in front of that billbaord. I could live with a lifetime of regrets for choosing this University as my Alma Mater, or I could reflect instead on the good times I have had here.

I remember that rainy day, when we decided to make a run for the dormitories. Our shoes were being soaked through after unsucessfully avoiding puddles of water. We looked at each other as we approached the edge of the steep staircase at the side of the hill. Laughingly, we took off our shoes, and ran down the staircase, and onto the road barefoot.

For whatever that has happened between us since then, I’d want her to know just how much that moment meant to me then and now.

I remember my classmates. However flawed they seem to be at first, were really some of the greatest people I have met. Sweet and creative Fuzan, who could create anything she wanted to on her computer. Compassionate and brave Erin, who battled through so much in the short time that I have met her. Ambitious and studious Anis, who through it all, maintained such a steadfastness I have come to admire so much.

Yanti, the ever singing siren who could charm anyone into her life. I’m sorry if there were times I may have been too tough on you, but I hold the adage of “being cruel to be kind,” and believe me, when I say that only wished the best for you.

Feer, the ever agreeable and diplomatic guy, who through out the years I’ve known him, have always had a smile and a grin on him.

Hairil, the shrill and amicable “handsome” guy, who, despite what people think of him, has always been true to himself.

Mimi, always her amicable and cheery self. I’ve always found your positive outlook in life to be refreshing from the cynicism that always surrounded me.

Farah, my first friend on campus. I thank you for all that you have done for me those first few weeks of brutal reality for me.

Dhany, always the ever willing to listen and hear me out. Linda, I’ll always remember your bravery and your no-nonsense attitude, which saved our class a few times. Hafiz and Gewe, for all of the laughter you both have brought to all of us.

I remember all the times I have spent with Eddy…the ever loyal listener. I treasure your friendship to this day.

I made friends here. I made many memories here. It isn’t the University that I hate. It’s the idea of education being denied to so many others who are looking for it.

For all of the mistakes that I have made here.  I realised that I have no regrets. I am proud to have graduated from this institution, to have met great individuals along the way.

As I sat in that grand hall, and saw other people receiving their scrolls from the Pro-Chancellor, I’ve also noticed something.

It wasn’t Malays who were graduating from this hall. They were Malaysians. There wasn’t a single person in that entire hall who could claim to be a pure Malay. There was a Ranjit, there was a Lee, there was a Dickson, there was even a Smith.

Sooner a later, everyone will realise that what they have so fiercely tried to protect from other races would be in vain. For there was nothing to stop people from falling in love. And creating a hybrid that could no longer be identified as one single race.

He or she would be just that; a Malaysian. And that day is here. That day is now.

Here's looking to the future...

A twang of the guitar,

A cough in the distance,

A familiar face across the space,

Something crackles in the fire…

A song,

Smiles,

Laughter…

Etched in memory.

Hehe…updates on my convocation soon!

Just as well that I have been tagged by Mr. Shy. I have no idea where to start blogging, as so many things have been going on lately. So a tag will pretty much save me from thinking too much on what to write about.

5 things in my bag

1. My black Elle wallet that Baby gave as a birthday present many years ago. Already so lusuh, that’s why I wanna get a new one, so that I can have the old one as a keepsake. Don’t want it to get spoilt any further…

2. Bottle of water. Very important.

3. Tissue paper! Old and new. Ewww…

4. Gold plated leaf brooch belonging to my mom. It’s almost 20 years old. Borrowed it from her, then changed my min about wearing it, so now it’s still in my handbag. Should remember to give it back…

5. Scholl’s “Party Feet” Ultra Slim, invisible gel cushions! Very the penting! Will save my life when I am wearing my high heels this Friday for my convocation!

5 things in my wallet

1. RM1 folded into a shirt. (As seen in the banner of this blog above)

2.  My business cards. Need to have them handy. Malaysian custom dictates that you have to give everyone in the meeting room one!

3. My trusty debit card.

4. Bookmark from Grandma’s funeral. Myself and some cousins came up with the design and arranged for printing at the last minute so that we could give it away during the funeral. I love the pictures and the quote on it.

5. Little, wittle other things from friends, old and new.

5 favourite things in my room

1.  My bookshelf! For obvious nerdy reasons.

2. My super single bed. I splurged on Elle bedsheets to make it nice and cosy.

3. My big blue flowered armchair. Piled high with pillows, making it a comfy retreat.

4. My laptop! Enabling me to blog!

5. My purple curtains, matching my purple walls. (Which Kak Has sewed!)

5 things I want to do

1. Figure out how I am going to wear my hair for my convocation this Friday!

2. Clean my room…(I keep telling myself that 10 times in a week!)

3. Save up for new glasses. I really need a new pair. Mine is getting so old.

4. Polish my car. Solid colours look much better after at least a wax.

5. Be more organised! I bought a 2009 planner, and I intend to use it! (crosses fingers)

5 things I’m always doing

1. Working. (Unfortunately. From 9am to 6pm everyday. Sometimes more) Good thing I actually enjoy what I am doing.

2. Driving. My home is simply too far from anywhere really.

3. Eating out! It’s the only time I can spend time with Baby

4. I watch tv a lot. It’s the only time in the day I can turn off my frontal cerebal lobe, and totally relax. Physically and mentally.

5. Breathing. (Well I know you are going like “duhhh”) but really, I make a conscious effort sometimes to breathe in and out. Not just because I have asthma. But it simply makes you appreciate life that much more.

Convocation is just around the corner. About time too…UiTM are among the last of the Universities to have their convocation. And it isn’t just a ceremony. It counts when apply for jobs, and the kind of salary you are asking.

Graduation is a big deal. Especially when you are the first one to be doing so in the family. My parents had to cancel their holiday plans to Korea when they realized that it would clash with my Convocation. I do feel a smidgen of guilt that their plans for the vacation is ruined. But mostly glad that my parents would be around for my graduation.

I was browsing through the books on our shelf, and came across my parents’ thesis’. I’ve seen them many times before, but have never had the urge to open and read any of them. “Boring adult books” I used to say to myself. But it doesn’t seem so much like that now that I have written my own thesis. Curious to see my parents’ thesis, I took them down.

My dad's and mom's degree thesis.

The thing that struckme most when I opened them was that it was typewritten!

My mom said she went through countless drafts before the final one, coz one mistake meant you had to write the page again!

And the maps were all traced carefully with black felt tip pens. Come to think of it…I recollect seeing lots of tracing paper around my dad’s office. I often wondered what they were for. Now I realize that it was to draw maps!

And the maps had to be traced over carefully. My dad the geographer, helped my mom alot for this.

But perhaps the most poignant part was my mom’s simple acknowledgement. This thesis is about 25 years old. And yet it endured time, and here I am, 25 years later, blogging about it. A thesis is so much more than something you do to pass a semester. Its a testament to just how much you worked in University to get your degree. I realized too, that I don’t have my thesis in hard cover binding. In fact, I didn’t print one for myself, in my haste to chase the deadline. Now I am resolved to print mine, bind it, hot stamp it with my name in gold across its spine, and get my mentor to sign it during my graduation.

Maybe one day, a son or daughter would come to appreciate the labour I have gone through.

Love in simplicity

I meet many interesting people on the job. Some are shy at having their pictures taken, others are forward when interviewed, but once in awhile, I meet this really cute person, that makes you go “awwwww”

Girl wondering, "What is that xiexie doing with that big black contraption?"

Girl at her attempt to smile after realizing that I am taking a photograph of her.

Girl giving a big grin after I showed her picture on the small LCD screen on the camera.

CHANGE HAS COME

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It’s the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voices could be that difference.

It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It’s the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

Full text here.

p/s- Have you noticed how very different he speaks compared to Bush? So much more conviction and charisma!

Daisies for Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I hope all is well. I heard of what happend and am really sad to hear that the baby is gone. Whatever it is, stay strong, and stay close to the ones who love you…for all of you. Times maybe hard, but always remember that there will always be people who will be praying and hoping the best for you.

Love,

Kamy

Hey, guys! Check out my new banner? Not too shabby huh? Took me some time to get the right pictures and combine them in photoshop. I will also be changing the blog title design soon. It’ll be tricky, cause I have a small space to work with. I am also hoping to change the wood background of the blog. It seems abit yucky at the moment. Maybe a darker wood would be nicer. What do you think?

I also went to lengths to get the sheen on the cd cover. It looks ok at the moment, but I’d probably perfect it later on. But I’ve done the layering in such a way that I can easily change the CD I wanna put on my “desk”.

Anyway, that’s it for now. More updates later!