My Unscripted Life

I think the title says it all.

It’s been two months now since I’ve started work at a brand new place after molting away at a dead-end job for four years. The opportunity for the new job came around most aptly almost immediately when I finished my maternity leave.

With the new pay bump and definitely improved working conditions, I can now fully concentrate on other pressing matters – raising one feisty daughter, who at 6 months already has a mind of her own, and can’t take no for an answer.

You can almost see the cogs in her brain working. "How can I annoy Mummy next?"

Lily beguiles everyone with her sweet dimpled smile, and endless chuckles, that it’s easy to sink into her warmness while forgetting to take care of myself, or my better half.

I now know fully what every parent has been talking about. The all important balance one needs to live. It’s easy to sink into one aspect of your life, and forget the others.

So, in almost militant style, I’ve had to carefully balance work, motherhood, and being a wife. And like everyone else, I’m not doing it perfectly. It’s still flawed. But I do my best.

Side note: Blog post inspired by cousin Aaron, who advises one should try to keep a blog with the advent of Facebook and Twitter, as it allows you to reflect on yourself one day. Totally agree after re-reading some of my old posts, back when I was infatuated with this chubby Mamak guy, and would never have imagined that we could ever have such a cute and lovable daughter that we have now.

This coming Monday will be Lily’s 3rd vaccination since she came into the world. 2 months ago, she was born at about a quarter past thre in the morning, with a bewildered and surprised look on her face. Now, almost two months old, her sense of wonder of the world around her is the most wonderful thing to me. From how every fart is an adventure, to how hair blowing in the wind fascinates her. I love watching her watching the world go by. It kinda makes you question everything you think you already know. It opens up a whole new world for you too.

Motherhood is by far the most challenging job I’ve ever had. But its rewards are great. From her smallest hint of a giggle to how her little pink toes curl every time some touches them. By far, she’s my biggest and greatest adventure yet.

The little peanut is about 2.5 inches at this point according to books that I’ve read. It’s no longer an embryo, but a fetus. The difference? A fetus has complete organs. Just like you and I. It has a liver, a heart, lungs, and according to Huz, intestines and working colon system. “Which means it poops!”

Maybe that’s why I’ve been extra gassy too.

My mom has been buying up a storm. Spending hundreds at baby boutiques. Which means I will never have to worry about the baby having enough clothes. My dad now tries to keep her away from baby shops.

All I am thinking of however, is that in less than 2 weeks time, my first trimester will finally be over. Here’s hoping that the nausea and vomitting stops in time for my trip to Singapore for Christmas. Else I will have to face vomitting in MRTs and my cousin’s car instead. I now carry a steady supply of barf bags, and it doesn’t make for a pretty handbag. So am really hoping it will stop by then.

Everything is going according to clockwork now. Check-ups reveal that the little peanut is growing at a steady pace. Oblivious to the fact that it’s making it’s mom really sick every morning. But that’s ok, the nausea reminds me that the little nudger is well and growing.

Meanwhile I still have about 2 millileters of henna colouring left on both my big toes. Remnants of our wedding which only just happened in June…life does move fast.

Pregnant women seem to bond with other pregnant women. Even if you tend to dislike that person while they were sans baby.

I didn’t think that was possible, but nowadays, I seem to be able to strike up an animated conversation with total strangers, as soon as we both find out we are pregnant.

I also seem to appreciate the hardships other women go through to give birth. Usually one would just customarily congratulate on the new nudger they’ve just had. But now, I go like, “Man, you just gave birth to a new life! Good for you! Was it hard?”

A childhood friend of mine who currently lives in the Netherlands, just gave birth a few days ago. The amazing part? She gave birth to the baby in her bathtub with only her husband for company! I love my husband, but honestly, I want a whole team of nurses to be there as well!

Mareyln Yap gave birth to baby Magnus in her bathtub after the little tyke could’nt seem to wait to see the world. I can’t imagine how heroic that must have been for her. I can’t begin to imagine myself doing it. Although, it would be great to have that story to tell the kid to guilt him or her to do something for you in the future.

Congratulations to Marelyn and Martin Oosterlaar! Hope little Magnus will be just as eager to eat his veggies!

I loved the last theme I had, but it had a serious error whereby comments won’t show up. So here’s a new one! It’s a lot simpler and cleaner than the usual suspects I pick. Huz doesn’t like too much. But I say, “In with the new! Out with the Old!”

My dear hubby was teasing me as always. Taking snapshots of me with his new smart PDA phone, as I protest and try to swipe it away from him. Lo and behold, despite my desperate attempts, he still manages to get a scandalous photo of me, with my spittle flying, and my tongue wagging.

With a tap on his smart phone, he realises that his phone, which is connected to his Facebook account, his Gmail account and his work email is able to send my photo out in a blink of an eye. He quails under my protest, and promptly puts his phone away. Later, I was able to delete the discrimanatory photo, and my reputation lives on for another day.

The incident got me thinking at how unbelievably the world is connected nowadays. A person’s reputations may be punctured or inflated within seconds, and photos can fly out at a moment’s notice. One can update his or her status online the second one thinks of it. It can be humbling, but certainly, can be damaging as well.

One can argue the age old debate that it is only when a knife is in a murderer’s hand that it does harm. While the internet is as good as the person who is using it, I sometimes wonder the virtues of telling the whole world what you are having for dinner, where you are having dinner, exactly what you wore when you went to dinner, and how you thought the waiter who served you was good looking.

While it can fulfill one’s ego when someone “likes” your status, video or photo, I always believe that there is a line between publicly declaring something, and making something private and special. A birthday message for instance, is always more special when someone calls or texts to you directly, rather than splurged on your profile page.

Perhaps I am an internet prude, but in the interest of keeping things intimate and special. I don’t think I will ever tweet.

Ah well…the statute of limitations for one to gush about his or her wedding has got to be more than a year after the said nuptials right?

Ok, I promise, this shall be the last of it.

An adendum though…
Until I move into our new house, and then the gushing shall start again.

Kamelia & Huzaifah Part 1 from flem_power on Vimeo.

Kamelia & Huzaifah Part 2 from flem_power on Vimeo.

Kamelia & Huzaifah Part 3 from flem_power on Vimeo.

No, I haven’t forgotten about this little space of sanctuary. One can get caught up in life sometimes, that it’s easy to forget to document it.

Here’s a short post of my favourite photos of our wedding. The photos are courtesy of Aravind, Ruberneshan and a few others who tagged us in the Facebook album. I still have loads more to sift through from the photographer which I have yet to do.

Shuba, Kas and Rashveen arriving in style

Kasthuri and Rashveen, who was there for me from the start till the end. I am forever in their debt.

Chico and Evelyn, who was part of the team who masterminded my Bridal Shower.

The beautiful cake Kak Azrena made for us. Three tiers of delicious moist chocolate and butter orange, stopped with the most decadent royal icing I've tasted yet.

Beatrix and Yi Shan, both of whom I've known for since I was 7 and have not seen for ages. It was a huge pleasure to see them again.

Rashveen and Rubern, soon to be related by marriage. Rubern helped me loads, from picking up the make-up artist to posting up signboards. A huge thanks to Rubern from both of us!

My dear friend Aravind, who was also a big help in some of the wedding preparations.

The entire Convent Kajang gang. It was wonderful that I could share this day with all of them. My only regret was that I could'nt spend much time with them.

My first appearance in the Baju Sanding. My sister Wawa was the pengapit. Surprisingly, she helped a lot. Haha, just kidding, of course she was a big help.

The Baiduri Apartment gang plus Sheba. It was great to see them again!

The girls decided to tag along in one of our outdoor photoshoot sessions.

Azhar and his two assistants (one of whom is from belgium) taking test shots of us. Pretty exhausted by this time. The next few shots are taken without my shoes

My three-inch Aldo heels which was worn for the Nikah ceremony and reception in Putrajaya. I call them shiny heels of hell.

Our wedding rings. And now we are husband and wife. Till death do us part.